So I Stayed
by darkgirl3
Summary: Brian wants Justin to stay with him instead of dying after the bashing. (Inspired by previews of If I Stay Movie)


**I Own Nothing**

**AN: Okay so I saw the previews of the movie If I Stay, which as of writing this I haven't seen. Depending on what date I'm posting that could change. I own the book and just ordered the movie, but the previews alone had this idea just melting out of me. **

**Summary: Brian wants Justin to stay with him instead of dying after the bashing. **

**Title: So I Stayed**

There was no percist moment that you could pin point when love happened. There was not a set date or time that you just knew that was the person you were going to be with forever. If there had been he was sure that he would have run the other direction at the time. The only thing he could think of right now was that Justin couldn't die. He couldn't leave this world when he hadn't even had a chance to really and truly live in it. He was only a few months past turning eighteen. He was supposed to be going to college in the fall, but right now he was lying in a hospital bed hooked up to machines telling them he was alive. He looked paler than his already pale skin was usually.

He hadn't cried this much in who knew when, but all he could think was that it wasn't fair. Justin wasn't supposed to be fighting for his life. They were supposed to be celebrating the after prom weekend. He'd planned on doing whatever Justin wanted to do until Monday morning. He'd realized that he loved him when he'd been dancing around the floor with him. He realized it when they'd been goofing off going to the Jeep. He realized it when Justin had smiled so brightly at him and he'd seen the reason Debbie called him Sunshine.

It wasn't just then though that he'd started falling, those moments were just when he realized it. Justin had crashed all of his walls down that he'd held up for so long. Michael and Lindsay weren't even that far down into his soul or heart. The closest other person was his son, they had come into his life on the same night so it was fitting. He could think of hundreds of things that made him start falling for Justin. There was his laugh, the way it sounded so wonderful. There was the way he looked at him before he'd say he was onto him. There was even the annoying things Justin did that he swore he couldn't stand, but he loved them. One of them being him leaving his clothes all over the place.

It was the third day which was the day the doctor was supposed to have some clue as to if Justin would recover. Recover enough to come back to them so he could open those blue eyes that he loved so much. He had been avoiding leaving, even moving really, until he was told if the person that had drilled through all of his layers to find his heart would wake up. He didn't know what the sign or clue would be that Justin would wake in time. The doctor had already said that it was a fifty fifty shot either way. Justin always did things in his own time though. He knew that better than anything because he did it too.

"When that doctor comes in here to check you over, you better give him what he wants to see. I don't know what that will be, but don't you just lay there without showing some kind of sign. You have followed me around, practically stalked me at times. Who are we kidding, you were stalking me, and you never gave up. So don't you dare give up now because it became harder. Don't you dare just go off into wherever you might go and leave me here. I'm sorry that you're lying here instead of being at the loft with us screwing into oblivion like I promised you. I don't beg or plead or bargain for anything, you know that. Right now I am, I'm begging you to come back to me. I am begging you to stay here with me instead of dying. I haven't said it out loud in years and there are only two people that I feel it for with all of my heart and being. I'm tied to Gus and you, I love you two more than this life. I'd do anything for the two of you. Please just show that doctor that you're not a lost cause and you're going to fight like hell to live." Brian kept holding onto Justin's hand rubbing his thumb over the back of it once he finished. "Please stay with me, my sweet prince."

~BJ JB BJ JB~

Life could change in an instant and you wouldn't know what was going to come you're way. He had his life mapped out until he'd seen Brian and everything changed like that. He no longer saw his self going to college for buisness. The only thing he could see was Brian and what he wanted to show the world with his art. Now, that world had changed again and he was stuck standing looking at Brian watching him in the bed. He wanted to be able to touch Brian to tell him he was okay. It was clear he wasn't since he was in the hospital after being hit in the head with a baseball bat.

He'd heard what Brian had been asking him not just now, but for three days. It was the same thing pretty much every day since it happened. Besides his mom no one else besides Brian had come in to see him, in the room. He had seen the others in the other waiting area, but not in here. He didn't know if it was because of policy or what, but Brian never left. He hadn't needed to hear him say he loved him for the last three days, he saw it plain as day. He wanted to take the pain away, but he was here unable to touch anything. He'd tried touching Brian, but his hand went through him. He wanted to stay and he wanted to be with Brian.

He wanted to find a way to make sense out of what happened even if he didn't understand. He didn't know why Chris had hated him so much he'd try and end his life. He didn't know why the world had plotted against him to destroy what he had going. His life had felt as close to perfect as he could get it. He had felt so much joy and happiness just being with Brian at prom. He could feel the memory slipping from him though, but he kept going back there when he wasn't here. He took his self back to that moment in his head watching it play out. There were gaps each time and this time there had been so little there to see. He could hear the song though and felt the way Brian had kissed him.

He didn't want to fade away and die without getting to have more time in this world. He didn't want to never know if Brian and he could have a real chance. He wanted to watch Gus grow up too. He wanted to be there for more of those moments when he knew Brian was the best dad in the world. He'd take the crappy moments too if it only meant he got to stay in this world with the man he loved. He loved Brian and nothing could change that. He wanted to be able to tell Brian that it wasn't his fault it happened. It wasn't like he'd handed Chris the stupid bat and said swing so he can finally leave me alone.

'I want to stay, ever who decides you better be listening. That's my answer, I want to stay.' Justin shouted hoping to get some kind of answer as to how he could go back into his body to wake up.

He was going to fight like hell to get give the sign that the doctor needed. He might not know what that sign was, but he'd do his best to let it show. He wanted to wake up so he could be back with Brian. He wanted to be more than the stalker, which he hadn't felt like in a while. He had felt lousy at times when he felt like second best, but Brian had gone to his prom. If that wasn't screaming he wasn't something more to Brian he didn't know what was.

~BJ JB BJ JB~

Two Weeks Later

Brian looked up when he heard a sound seeing Justin's eyes looking at him. They were so blue against how pale his skin looked. They were so bright that he was sure they would show up in the dark. He felt his heart would jump out of his chest the way that it was beating. He had been waiting for Justin to wake up since the doctor said he would. It had been a wait and see game for the past fourteen days.

"I couldn't leave you alone, so I stayed." Justin said in a weak voice, but he said it. He even managed a smile for Brian getting one back.

He had finally been able to get his self to wake up after he'd slipped back into his body the day Brian asked him to stay. He'd been working through so many things with his brain to get to this point. He knew it was going to be a road to recovery, but he came back. He weighed his options finding that he had more things to live for than not.

**~THE END~**

**I have plans to watch the movie this coming weekend after I got it for Christmas so hope you enjoyed this. I don't know if it was right to the movie, but what came of the previews I saw. Happy New Year hope 2020 is a great year for all of us. **


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